Are We Buried, Burdened, or Blessed?

I am often told that I have a lot of –

• Irons in the fire
• Commitments on the calendar
• Stuff on the schedule
• Responsibilities in my realm

From what others see from the outside, that may be true. We refer to it as “wearing many hats”. I think that is something every single person does. You could be a:

• Mother, daughter, sister, friend, coworker, wife, and volunteer.
• Father, son, brother, friend, coworker, husband, and coach.
• Child, student, sibling, pet owner, friend, and significant other.

All of those seem “normal” to people, and you don’t often find others concerned about those hats, no matter how many they may be. Those lists are not considered over-committed or crowded. They are viewed as typical life roles. However, when we begin to add on passions, side hustles, dreams, and involvement in things that bring us purpose – that’s when people tend to think we are going too far and becoming too scattered.

But sometimes, I believe we forget that we are not all created the same. We are not all gifted the same. What may seem like a lot or too much on your plate may not be too much on mine. We are all designed in different ways; we handle life’s tasks and loads differently. It is wonderful (and even biblical) for us to look out for each other and warn someone if we think they are carrying too heavy of a burden. What we need to be careful of, though, is not to assume or state that a person is doing too many things or has taken on too much. We need to develop the art of actually asking a person how they are doing with all that is going on in their lives. We need to go to the source, have deep conversations, and involve ourselves in their story to understand what is truly going on. What is viewed as a burden to one may be viewed as a blessing to another.

You see, we live in a highlight-and-reel world. We see a post on Facebook. We see a video on Instagram. We hear someone sharing and excited about yet another thing they are doing in their lives. But that’s just it … those are only snippets of a person’s life. Those are quick blips of 10-30 seconds in an 86,400 second day. Five minutes in a 10,080 minute week. We are missing the mark if we think we know all a person is doing in their life, what they do or don’t have time for, or if they are spreading themselves in too many directions. So, in light of that, we as a Christ community need to learn how to:

Let’s touch on each of these just a bit.

Ask Instead of Assume

“Stop judging by the way things look, but judge by what is really right.” John 7:24 (NCV)

We tend to see bits and pieces or hear snippets of information and assume we know the whole picture. We think we have great insight and advice, when in fact we are speaking to only online flashes of information we have seen. We are not in anyone’s everyday life all the time – not even our spouse or children. So we never know all that is behind the scenes. We should make it a priority to sit down to coffee, text or call, and take the time to ask someone what all is going on in their life and if they are handling it well, instead of assuming we know how they are juggling the activities that we see in the pics and posts on the Internet. Pics and posts are not our lives, they are only basic highlights. We need to dig deeper and ask what a day in the life is like for someone else, instead of judging by the social media we consume.

Listen Instead of Lecture

“Anyone who answers without listening is foolish and confused.” Proverbs 18:13 (NCV)

We often think we know what is best; not just for ourselves, but for others. The truth is, only God knows what each person needs, what they are capable of, and what He has called them to carry. This goes alongside the “asking”. Once you find out what is entailed in a person’s day/week/life, only then can you offer the gift of listening. Listen to what they say, instead of telling them what you think. Listen to how they are juggling things, instead of lecturing on them doing too much. This is where that part of having different gifts and handling things differently comes in. We do not want to advise them based on what we can handle or what we think is too much, because that can deflect them from a calling that God has equipped them to handle. He does not equip us the same. When someone else can handle more than we can without breaking a sweat, it is time to celebrate them, not try to get them to back down from commitments or how much they are doing. Encouragement is enlightening – and lifts others up. 

Invest Instead of Insist

“A friendly discussion is as stimulating as the sparks that fly when iron strikes iron.” Proverbs 27:17 (TLB)

Invest. This word’s definition is: to involve or engage, especially emotionally. This is something Jesus has called us to do since the beginning. Jesus was invested in every soul he met. Wealthy. Poor. Healthy. Diseased. Man. Woman. The list goes on. He never insisted people do as he did or live as he demonstrated, but he did invest in them and invite them. That is what we are to do also. We should invest in others to follow their calling, to flourish in their endeavors. We need to be sure we do not insist they would do things as we would or that we know what is enough, too much, or not enough for them to be doing. God speaks to each of us in different and separate ways. Let’s invest in each other to learn the ways God has spoken to each of us, instead of insisting that we see what’s going on from the outside. How do we do that? Talking. That is how we invest. Discussing life and learning each other’s stories.

Highlight Instead of Hinder 

“So speak encouraging words to one another. Build up hope so you’ll all be together in this, no one left out, no one left behind.” 1 Thessalonians 5:11a (MSG)

When we think we know what is going on in someone’s life or we speak out about what we see on the outside without knowing the full picture, we can hinder that person and their walk of faith. We can cause them to doubt themselves, to question if what they are doing was really from God, or have them stop in their tracks and start believing that they just don’t have what it takes. We don’t want to do that. We don’t know what God has called them to and asked them to do. We don’t know why they are involved in so many different things and why it looks so busy from the outside. It may be what they are passionate about and what is centering them and calming them. This circles back around to us all being built differently and with individual capabilities. From a personal standpoint, juggling dozens of things and being involved in multiple ministries (as well as working and launching a business, writing books, raising a family – etc., etc., etc.) does not mean I am overcommitted or overloaded. It means that I’m finally doing what God has asked me to do, shifting from a life of working and earning money and helping the rich man get richer, and moving forward in my calling of being in ministry and involved in things that serve and that matter. But if you don’t know my whole story, you will just see everything I’m doing and assume that I’ve taken on too much. My call is not your call; my load was not meant for anyone but me. And I’m probably the only one that understands it. That’s okay, that’s why God has an individual relationship and tasks for each of us.

Has anyone ever asked me where I started from, why I’ve made these decisions, and why I’m carrying the load(s) I have now? No. No one ever has. But everyone has always told me I’m doing too much. I’m too overcommitted. I have my hands in too many cookie jars. But not one single person has ever sat down with me or called me to truly hear about my life. If we did that for and with one another, we could highlight the strengths people have. We could inspire and encourage them on their journey and better understand why they are doing all that they are doing and what purpose it is serving now and in the future. They can find out what God has told them and shown them. They could highlight the beauty of what God is doing in their life instead of hindering and making them feel judged or convicted or less than. Let’s highlight what God has allowed others to do so they can shine as are supposed to for His Glory.

Is this a long post? Of course, it is! Have you met me?. I am a writer to my core. I’ve had many devotional companies turn away my writing, saying it is stellar, beautiful, and on point. But waaaaay too long. Story of my life! I have plenty to say, always. But when I speak, it’s because it’s important. When I’m pouring my heart out, it is because God has asked me to. As you notice from the four points above, they all tie together.

• We have to ask before we can listen. 
• We have to listen before we can invest. 
• We have to invest before we can highlight. 
• We have to highlight to lift each other up.

It’s a four-step process and if we miss one of those steps, we’re just not going to get it. We’re just not going to get each other. So let’s step out and step into each other’s lives. Let’s get more invested and purposeful. Let’s learn about each other. Let’s genuinely care and want to know the hearts, souls, and lives of our Christ community. We are all in this together, we need to act like it!

Until next time, my friends!
Debbie 🙂